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Us British people are a funny bunch. We spend a lot of time dragging ourselves through long, dark, rainy, cold days going to and from work and carrying out the daily stuff that it feels like it’s never going to end.
But then it happens. We get an unusually hot spate of weather, and it’s like we’ve been reborn again. Suddenly everyone is 100 x nicer and 100 x happier and 100 x more optimistic.
Here are the ridiculous things us British (100% including myself) are guilty of doing as soon as we get the first glimpse of sunshine.
Talk about the weather even more
Yes, it’s true, Brits do talk about the weather a lot, but trust me, you ain’t seen nothing until the sun comes out. Suddenly every conversation starts with ‘I can’t believe how sunny it is’ and ‘god it’s boiling outside’ and then ends with ‘enjoy the weather’ regardless of what you’ve been talking about in between.
Descend to the nearest beach or body of water
Doesn’t matter if it’s all cobbles, a bit muddy or actually a decent beach, any area near a waterside will be packed. And even if it’s ridiculously uncomfortable we will find a patch to squeeze onto and lay out in our swimmers. And yes, we will all do our best to get in the water to ‘cool off’ only to be very quickly reminded that it’s still bloody freezing.
Say it will never last
To be fair, it doesn’t last because it’s England, but you would have thought we would have been able to hold back on the weather pessimism for at least a day. But no. We’ve been let down by nature all too often.
Get Over-optimistic about the tanning situation
Like I’ve mentioned before, most of our days are grey and rainy. So why us British think that we won’t need sun cream on our pasty little bodies when it’s sunny is beyond me. You hear people saying that they ‘never burn’, only to spend the whole day outside to come inside looking like a lobster. Nice one guys.
Do an impromptu wardrobe change
There’s something about a bit of sun that makes us think we’ve all be transported to Ibiza. The short shorts and massive floral headbands get dusted off, bikini tops are worn instead of bras and lads don’t feel the need to wear t-shirts anymore, no matter where you are, even if it’s just Tesco.
People start sunbathing anywhere
When I say anywhere, I mean anywhere. I’ve seen people laying on roundabouts before now. It’s like any bit of grass/pavement/seat will do, and to be honest no one cares because it’s never gonna last (see point 3).
Get on the daytime drinking, just because
Pimms have a lot to thank the British for on days like this. From about 10 am it’s perfectly fine to get on the drinks without risk of judgement from anyone. And this will continue for the rest of the day.
Panic buy BBQ stuff
Because it might be the only chance we get! If you get to the shops late you have no chance and will spend the rest of your afternoon calling around your friends and family trying to gather a feast together. But anything can be cooked on a BBQ anyway so it’s always good.
Complain about the price of a 99 icecream
Yeah, well, back in the good old day this treat was 99p, and quite frankly it’s a disgrace that it now costs far more than that. This anger will never die down. Rant over.
Realise we can’t actually hack the heat
After all the excitement and fun weather conversations us British will have had about the glorious sunshine, there’s a stark reality that we just straight out can’t hack it. The truth of the matter is that we go from complaining about how bad it is, to complaining that it’s too hot. You will hear phrases such as ‘stuffy’ being thrown around in a whining manner. After a bit of time basking in the sun or doing something outdoorsy we just get too overwhelmed and retreat back into our shaded homes and hope that it’s nice again tomorrow, but maybe not as nice.